Can you say agony?

 

Believe me, I don't want to put anyone off. But all of the books that I've read make little mention of the amount of pain I feel right now!

 

...Sure they say that there will be pain after a section and it takes a while to recover, but holy hell do they make light of it! If you read some of the books and websites that I have, you would think that a surgeon comes and tickles your tummy and a baby pops out - That is not the case believe me! I am in agony...

 

So where do I start... On Monday morning I met my wonderful midwife Enid. I was surprised when she said we were the only ones for surgery today and after completing some paperwork she would be going to get her scrubs on ready - Talk about quick!

I was in theatre for 9 o'clock and baby was born at 9.55am. After walking up to theatre (what with my previous back problems) it took them a good while to get my spinal in (which was fun - not!), but Sally (who did it) was gentle, patient and lovely and she stayed to cheer me along throughout the surgery too! As my legs went numb it was such a funny feeling and they had to lay me down quick before my lower half was total jelly. The test to see if I was numb was hilarious (which I was happy about as I was starting to get very nervous at this point). Sally came and squirted me with ice cold water on my arm (it was freezing!) - Then she did the same on various parts of my tum and I felt nothing, nada, zip, zero, it was so strange. Enid was with me throughout this part, she was a godsend! My IV had been placed earlier, but once I was numb they put my catheter in. I was all tubes and needles, it was very surreal and more than a little scary.

 

Next they put up the divider screen, hubby was led in and the nurses put my birth CD on. It was nearly time to get going... I was so glad I added the CD to my birth plan, it gave us something to talk about, took our mind off things and made us smile. I'll add a full list later, but some of the tracks included: Signed, Sealed, Delivered by Stevie Wonder, Get This Party Started by Pink and Unwritten by Natasha Beddingfield. I also had a little blue birth blanket that I had slept with the night before. Baby would be wrapped in this after the section, while I was being stitched and he was being weighed.

 

 

Hubby held my hand and stroked my face and I was asked if I could feel anything, I couldn't. Then I was told that they had already started! I took my mind off what was happening behind the curtain by trying to describe to my other half what 'it all felt like'. If I had to try and describe it, I would say it's like someone is doing some hand washing in your stomach. There's no pain but lots of pushing and shoving. It all starts when they cover your tummy in iodine, you can see her doing it but you can't feel a ruddy thing!

 

Then before you could say baby, I had the surgical blue sheets tucked all around me as they were going to break my waters... They were definitely in there then! SPLASH! Before you knew it, a voice shouted "baby's out dad" and from my laid out position I could see my husband beaming from ear to ear at the image poking his little head above the curtain. I had to laugh as after huge smiles he screwed his face up to mimic the little one...

 

 

Enid went to clean and weigh him with dad and after I had spent a while taking a few relaxing breaths I heard, "here's your baby" and this beautiful tiny boy was plopped onto my chest. To say I was overwhelmed was an understatement. I thought to myself, no matter what happens now... It's worth it! You only had to look at him... I turned to my husband and knew I had never felt closer to him. We had our baby and all I could say to him was, "look what we made daddy!"

 

 

We stroked his little face while I was stitched and stapled and the time seemed to fly by. I couldn't believe that it had only taken a few minutes to get baby out and yet around 40 minutes had passed for the rest of the operation. It just didn't feel that long when you have that babe in your arms. I was moved from the theatre table back to my bed and then the three of us were wheeled off to my room...

 

Initially baby was changed for me and I was pretty much in charge of the boob department. He was hungry too and things got off to a great start. After a few wonderful hours of bonding (and morphine), I discovered (very quickly) that I was going to be in a LOT of pain - Boy do you feel that incision! The best way to describe it is like a spiking pain that runs across the area, which burns - Trying to stand up after you have been sat down is murder! I had to stand on my tip toe with one leg until the burning pain went away and then slowly lower my heel (it's a good trick if you need it!)

 

The best advice I was given was from a friend of my sisters (who recently had a section)... She said to hold a cushion against the area if you are getting up or down (or moving around) and have that cushion ready (and press it to you) if you sneeze or cough, because LORD DOES THAT HURT! If you're breastfeeding you should also be prepared for the pain you feel as your uterus shrinks. It happens pretty quickly, but you'll feel it later if you're formula feeding too. I know I'm making this sound like a nightmare, but I would rather be honest so you can be prepared and it's all worth it when you have your baby believe me.

 

You should also be aware that I'm allergic to two types of 'allowed' painkiller, so I can't say if everyone feels like this... Maybe if I had been able to take the pain medicine everyone else has, I may have ben more comfortable - I can't say... Anyway, after a days worth of morphine I had 2x500 paracetamol every four hours and that was that. The nurses did their best to make me comfortable, but I was sore guys. It's no picnic I'm telling you and I'll happily take on anyone who says a section is an easy way out. Unlike natural birth, instead of 'during' you feel the pain for weeks and weeks afterwards. Regardless of this, it's well worth it. But be prepared and don't listen to those books that lie and websites that paint a pretty picture and leave you unprepared.

 

 

Followed by blissful hours with baby -

New mummy and daddy cooing...

 

 

 

 

 

Visiting:- Family and Friends

There were too many to count and we were only supposed to be allowed two to a bed. It was great to see so many loved ones, but I was so tired afterwards and they were all so shocked at how awful I looked. (I did look terrible and pale as a ghost!) - They thought Jaycen was gorgeous though, which made mummy and daddy very proud! I missed my dad, but I knew he was watching from somewhere...

 

 

 

Then more pain and very little movement!

Night:- Jaycen spent all night feeding, for eight hours straight he was latched and lunching - No sleep for mummy and lots of pain getting him in and out of the cot! The nurses were a great help, but sometimes they were busy with other mums and I needed to get Jayce out of his cot before he progressed to full blown screaming!

 

 

I was exhausted after eight hours of feeding, but I was still elated every time I looked at Jayce... The fatigue just didn't matter. Having a baby is the best thing I've ever done! I have to say though, I did count the hours and minutes till his dad returned. The hospital only allows dads to attend from 9 till 9 and I don't think I have ever been happier to see his smiling face walk through my door... Cheesy as it sounds, he was fantastic and just as I'd expected him to be. A real doting dad and a wonderful husband...

 

 

So what does all this have to do with a shower you ask? Well... Shortly after hubby arrived back, I was told that I could have a shower (which was well received news after yesterdays bed bath!) - I was chuffed to bits! Finally some normality and a chance to really freshen up. My catheter was removed and my IV disconnected (you should have seen the bruise), then a nurse came in to collect my towel and toiletries... Mmmm... You know when you think to yourself that something's not quite right, well I had that feeling...

It turns out that the shower on day two is what I like to call the turning point of care. Throughout day one and most of day two, the nurses and midwives run circles around you and tell you that you need to move a little, but you should be resting (most of the baby lifting and changing is done for you too). THEN when it's time for your shower, you are helped from your bed for the first time and walked to the bathroom (the pain of standing for the first time is impossible to describe) - THEN you are left to take a shower alone. From this point on, you pretty much fend for yourself!

 

 

I have to apologise as this is gonna be a little graphic, but in the bathroom you are literally bleeding all over the floor. Then after standing and walking for the first time two minutes ago, you have to try and co-ordinate yourself, sit in a shower chair (thank God for that) and try to move around and get things done - regardless of the spiking and burning pain. I was convinced that my incision would just burst open, but it was fine. You also have to shower the incision area and remove the gauze that covers it - This takes a lot of water as it's stuck fast. Again I was frightened that my removing it would damage something and pull off some staples or something... Is this sounding like fun or what?

...Then (if that's not enough) when you're finished, you can put money on the fact that you'll need the loo! That in itself is an experience and a half, but thankfully not too painful. I was more shocked by the bleeding to be honest, which you don't expect a lot of with a c-section. I guess with a natural birth it's par for the course (everything has to make its way out after all), but you get just as much from a cesarean so be prepared guys.

 

Anyway... Although the walk back from the shower was agony and I thought I was going to pass out at one point, I can't tell you how much better I felt when I sat down in my room. My husband couldn't believe the difference in me and said how much better I looked and how well I was moving compared to before. I managed to have a drink and a banana sat in the chair and hubby offered to comb my hair for me (it was like a birds nest after the mop hat from surgery) - I told you he was a ruddy gem didn't I!

 

This was the first night I felt weepy. When my husband left I was heartbroken and felt so alone... They really should let dads sleep in hospitals like they used to! It would be so much better for new mums emotional wellbeing and my husband didn't want to leave. If you ask me, it takes something away from them as fathers when they are forced to leave like a normal visitor - They made the baby too! Thankfully, Jaycen slept through the night which lifted me right up. The midwife was very impressed and told me that babies just don't sleep through the night or hold their head up so soon (Jayce was doing that too!)

 

It was so funny, I was SO tired from the first night's non-stop feeding but I couldn't sleep again. I just couldn't stop watching him.

 

 

So enough of my gooey ranting...

Bless you all, you'll need a bucket in a minute!

 

Needless to say, the staff were wonderful in the hospital but unfortunately for them, I hate hospitals and requested to go home. They refused point blank on day 2 but folded on day 3 (as all of our tests were fine) and I would have discharged myself anyway - I just wanted to be at home.

 

What can I say, it's a long story... After my dad spent so much time in hospital before he passed away, we had a number of bad experiences with certain staff members in a specific hospital and as I have a bad temper and no patience (but fortunately a long fuse), this did not bode well. In turn, this ruined my childhood rose-tinted view of hospitals as I learned that there are some individuals within them who are both patronising and stupid -  My father was one of the most intelligent men I have ever met and I did not appreciate him being shouted at and spoken to like he was five - not all sixty year olds are senile or deaf. There were also numerous errors made with his medication and 'they' would not believe my father when he advised that certain pills could not be mixed. Can you believe they tried to get him to take said pills at the same time? The consultant was shocked afterwards and said he could have had a fit had taken them that way, fortunately dad refused. Go on dad! - I won't be mentioning names or hospitals where the incidents happened here, but I thought I better explain why hospitals and I don't mix!

 

Anyway... When we were told we cold go, I was so happy to see Jane Bamber appear (who did my pre-op). She would be doing all the final checks before we could go home and she gave us all the info we needed.

 

Jayce had a little jaundice on day 3, so Jane asked for the paediatrician to take a quick peek before we left too.

 

Breastfeeding and drop-in centre times

Contraception options

Expressing

NSPCC guidelines on caring for baby

(Don't shake your baby)

Clinic information and midwife home visits

Health visitor information

Feeding and care guides and much more...

 

We were also handed a copy of our green care plan from the hospital. This has details of all our hospital care so the midwives can add to it on their daily visits. When the midwives are happy with our progress (and my staples have been removed and my incision is fine), then we will be discharged from their care and we just pop to the clinic for weighing and things.

 

 

 

Well I'm off to recover. I'll be back next week with a huge update and some photos too, but for now I have to concentrate on my new baby and healing. My usual daily posts will resume at the end of the month. It all begins here!